


Short Stuff That I Have No Clue What To Do With

by SCUBACatwoman



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series), jacksepticeye
Genre: Cutting, Depression, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Past Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, foot tapping, hopefully most of this will be less vent and more humor tho, i don't even know if this actually needs to be rated M, jackie can't cook, no seriously it drives me nuts, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCUBACatwoman/pseuds/SCUBACatwoman
Summary: This is going to be a mix of random short things that I come up with and also me venting on my character of choiceTRIGGER WARNINGS in tags and also at the beginnings of chapters
Kudos: 3





	1. Anxious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tap tap tap tap tap. It's driving Chase nuts, and he can't do anything about it.

Chase stared at the clock on the wall.

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._

Someone near him was bouncing their leg.

_Tap tap tap tap._

His brain locked onto the sound. He stared at the textbook in front of him.

_Tap tap tap tap tap._

His eyes scanned over the words in front of him without comprehending what he was reading. His hands clenched under the desk. Somebody started talking, but it didn’t drown out that infernal tapping. He stared at the clock on the wall again.

_Fuck._

Only a minute had passed. He swallowed and tried to think of something else.

_Nope._

The damn tapping was preventing him from thinking. He really wanted to hear something else, anything, but all he could hear was tapping. It was kinda like Chinese water torture. He couldn’t _not_ hear it, and he couldn’t get away from it. He wanted to scream and cry at the same time. It made him fucking _anxious_ too, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Somebody complained about the sound. At least he wasn’t the only one. The tapping didn’t stop. His breathing picked up, and he wanted it to _stop_. Fucking hell, why couldn’t it _stop?_

The bell rang and he bolted out of the room, finally free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just me venting on Chase what my Stat class is like. Because my teacher does this the whole damn class. And it drives me crazy. Because my brain just hyperfixates on it and then I can't concentrate on anything else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm and suicidal thoughts!!!  
> 

Chase stares at the ceiling blankly. It’s one of those days again, where he doesn’t feel like getting out of bed, or doing anything, for the matter. He can barely find the motivation to get out of bed. He did, putting on the fakest of smiles to record a couple of videos. Now he’s staring with half-lidded eyes at his screen, videos waiting to be edited. His hands hover over his mouse and keyboard, but he can’t find it in himself to actually start. He switches to Tumblr, hoping that maybe something there will cheer him up, but nothing does. It’s like he doesn’t even have the energy for feelings. He just feels numb and empty. He forces himself to eat when the clock on his computer reads that it’s almost 1 in the afternoon, not really tasting the food. When he finishes, he drops his dishes in the sink and walks back to his computer. _Does anybody actually care about the content creator? Or only the content?_ Is it even worth taking the time to edit these things that he creates? He flips his wrists over to stare at the marred skin there. Six. Six scars there. The newest one still pale and standing out starkly from the rest of his skin. He hasn’t thought about suicide or hurting himself again in a while, and he doesn’t plan on doing either. But feeling this way _sucks_.

_Does anybody care? Or am I alone?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about how poorly written this is. i'm just not having the best of days rn, and i'm projecting it all on Chase. i do promise that i'm in no danger of hurting myself, it's just motivation and enthusiasm for everything is nonexistant


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how I said Jackie burned water?

**Jackie:** The box says to bring the water to a boil, then pour the noodles in

**Marvin** : [watching as his twin fiddles with the temperature on the stove] Yep. Easy, right?

Literally five minutes later

**Marvin** : [staring at the pot, a dumbfounded expression on his face] Jackie, I don’t know how the hell you managed to do it, but you  _ burned _ the water.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all want to know what I just realized? That is some twisted way, Chase, Henrik, and Actor Mark could all be buddies. ‘Cause all of them have gone through a divorce/break up with their s/o, and are dealing with it in their own ways (kinda).  
> And like, their late night meet up goes like this

**Actor Mark:** It’s not fair, is it?

**Chase and Henrik:** Nope, it’s not, but we’re all coping [as Chase takes a sip from his whiskey bottle and Henrik takes a sip of vodka]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also posted this on my Tumblr


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a vent, and I highly recommend not reading this if you are sensitive to the following topics:
> 
> Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts  
> Cutting  
> Self-Harm  
> Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> DISCUSSION OF SELF-HARM  
> CUTTING  
> DEPRESSION  
> BLOOD

Chase stares numbly at the razor blade in his hand, metal shining in the bathroom light. He pulls back his sleeve to reveal his wrist, and the pale skin almost seems to mock him. He lifts the blade to his wrist and lets it rest there. A broken sob escapes him, and he moves the razor away from his skin. He doesn't _want_ to hurt himself, but he wants to feel something other than the overwhelming numbness and feeling like he's a useless waste of space.

Why does he even bother?

Why does he even try?

It would be so much easier if he gave up.

He's such a failure. He can't even kill himself right.

Maybe if he tries again, he'll succeed.

He doesn't want to give up, but it seems so much easier.

He puts the razor away.


End file.
